Before reading my story, if you have come to this web page because you have lost a child or another loved one, let me leave you with one thought. Your loved one lives and continue to grow and the love you shared will never be broken. They will always love you.
I loved being a mother. I felt that all my children were gifts from God, and I loved them. It was very hard for me when my son died in a very tragic automobile accident; he was only 16 years old. It saddened me to think that he didn’t have the time to fulfill all his potentials, though he knew how to have fun and be joyful. I thought he was very special; he knew how to live in the moment. He was very outgoing and could talk to anyone, about anything, no matter their age. He could sense the other person’s feelings, and have compassion for them. He had all the dreams that a young man might have and he talked about them to me. He talked about girls and jobs that he might want, though he didn‘t talk too much about studies. He wasn’t the book type. I used to think he could learn all there was to know about life if he could just travel around the world, he could absorb all of it. I can still see his long blond hair move with the rhythm of his walk, since he was 6 foot tall and took long strides. I called him ‘friend’, because that is how I felt about him.
After he died, I wanted to know if he existed, where he existed, if he were happy. It became an obsession with me. I had to know. No sounds came from his tree fort in the back woods, and I wanted to know where he was. Each day that went by, I felt he was getting further away from me. I had to find some meaning in the event of his leaving me. I read and studied. I devoured everything I could find about the subject of dying and the hereafter. If he existed, I felt he would get some message to me no matter where he was, because I knew we loved one another.
One time when I was feeling particularly sad, I thought he put his arms around me and told me not to cry that everything would be alright. Later, when I thought about it I thought it must have been my imagination. I started to have dreams about him. One time I saw him as a young boy walking along whistling, with a fishing rod over his shoulder and a dog walking next to him. He walked through a small doorway, and said I could not enter.
There were many unusual things that started to happen to me. I started to feel that perhaps my son was in my life keeping in touch with me, though I was not always aware of him. After a long string of events, he did start to communicate and tell me what it was like where he was. He told me about lectures that he went to and how he was learning. He could also enjoy what went on here in the world. He told me he went to a concert and sat on a fat woman’s lap, though she was unaware of him. He must have thought this was great fun because he had to expend a lot of effort to be able to buy a ticket for a concert that he liked when he was here.
He told me about our lifetimes together that we shared in the past. He told me we were twin souls., and had agreed to do this work before we came into this lifetime. Initially it wasn’t decided who would be on this side of life and who would be on that side getting information together to give to the world. He told me he decided I should be here because I could type faster than him. In spite of my sadness at his loss, I had to chuckle, he hadn’t lost his sense of humor.
When you lose someone you love, it isn’t easy. However, I can tell you that at some point, you will remember the good times of your relationship without crying at the loss. If you can get to that point, you can go within and maybe your loved one can commune with you. There is a doorway to this planetary system and it is possible your loved one has gone through that doorway to develop to another level. But if they are here and you can calm your passions to the peace of the moment, you may be able to see eye to eye. It is very similar to meditating. Somehow I have gotten to that moment and we speak. He travels with me and he writes with me to pass along the information that is on this website. My wish is that you gain from the effort, and if you have lost a loved one, may you remember the joy of them and not the pain of their passing